a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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