i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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