dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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