it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
