i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
