Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
