it was like his penis was on wheels.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
