3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
