I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
