bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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