Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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