Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
