it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
