Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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