i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
