He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
