its not stalking. its research.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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