Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
