her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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