he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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