why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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