Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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