There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
