please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
