everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
