Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
