for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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