I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
