They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
