Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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