Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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