well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize