so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
