drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
