He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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