he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
