is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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