im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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