Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
