I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
