ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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