It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
