worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
