My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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