It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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