You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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