CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Randomize
