Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
