Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
