ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
