we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
